Friday, August 2, 2013

10 Things Millenials Won't Tell You

Yup, this pretty much captures the essence of the millenials.

Social commentary is a consistent theme on this blog. It stems from the fact that the industry is chock-full of young people, most of whom are millenials. The unrealistic expectations and poor professionalism married to a high level of independence and creativity is confounding at best.

So when I came across this article, I had a read through it. It validates many of my suspicions and sadly does little to refute my problems with the millenials.

For the record. I lie just outside the Gen Y lines. I think they consider me Gen X. But I see lots of myself in Gen Y.

Here's the problem with each finding. I think it's implicit but the article doesn't go far enough.

1. Millenials blame the parents for the way they are. Sure. You can blame the parents. You can blame the world. But at what point does someone assume responsibility for their own actions, their own life, their own results? You're misunderstand? Bitch, please.

2. Millenials wanna be the wealthiest 1% of the population. And I want a pony. The thing we have in common is neither of us are working towards that goal.

3. Republicans don't understand millenials. That's because they don't have to. The statistic that this section neglects is the sad fact that outside of the year Obama got elected, young people historically don't vote. I'll bet that millenials as a generation vote less than their preceding generations.

4. Millenials aren't "corporate material". No shit? You mean the unprofessionalism and the inability to follow instructions hurt employment potential? Call a spade a spade. Millenials always think the grass is greener on the other side.

5. Millenials think they will conquer the corporate world. Fat chance. Probably no chance. Yes the comprise of a large population in the workplace. But the percentage of successful millenials that reach upper management is likely considerably lower than previous generations. The facts are simple. You can't make it to the top if you don't climb the ladder. The article already states that most millenials leave their job within 2 years. Do people think that they're going to make partner or SVP in 2 years much less CEO?

6. Drug problems. Finally some truth. Millenials are a asthmatic, peanut allergic, celiac diseased, lot of diabetics.

7. Living with their parents. Because people with ambition live with their parents. Right.

8. Millenials don't buy cars. Should have been rephrased, "Millenials can't afford cars".

9. Millenials are practically professional students. Yes they are. Hence the success of the FIDMs, NYFAs, and community colleges. Because paying $15,000-20,000 to make $12/hour is great ROI.

10. Companies that neglect us will be sorry. That's funny because companies are already getting very good at marketing to millenials. See, it's not that hard. Just pay for a few "experts" to give good reviews on Yelp, twitter, Facebook, Instagram and you'll achieve instant overnight success. Millenials are the easiest lot to market to because they behave like sheep (read: aren't independent thinking).

Am I wrong? :)


  1. Harsh, but true.

    But this one: #6 "asthmatic, peanut allergic, celiac diseased, lot of diabetics"

    Of the above list, only the last is possibly caused by a lifestyle choice.
    Since the rest are not, we need to ask ourselves, what has changed in the pharmaceutical/nutritional realm that could account for this sudden rise in autoimmune disorders?

    Something is very wrong here, but what?

    1. I'm sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

      I've seen some statistics say that 4 in 10 Americans are allergic to gluten. I just have a hard time believing that so many people have problems with gluten. Having a gluten allergy these days is practically a fad. I actually know someone who was diagnosed by doctors to be allergic to gluten. She was tired all the time amongst other problems. Over time she discovered that the problem wasn't gluten at all but that she was eating too much each meal.

      /forehead smack

      A lot of what I say falls under satire. In the old days we didn't understand many of the diseases of today. For example, people who had autism, turrets, or schizophrenia were just considered "crazy". And while today we understand these diseases better and can treat them properly, modern-day science seems to want to consider every deviation from the norm a "disease" e.g. ADHD. Back in the day, hyper kids were just "normal". Kids being kids. Who the hell likes to study? Nowadays, every kid that can't sit still for 10 seconds is written a Ritalin prescription.

      So you ask, might there be pharmaceutical/nutritional problems that cause many of the perceived social disorders of today? My answer:

      Hell yeah.

  2. Yeah OK, I get that.

    However my youngest son has severe allergies to both wheat (not gluten) and peanuts. I'm talking potential anaphylactic shock/death type allergy. He has wound up in ER on a couple of occasions because we inadvertently fed him something that contained unknown wheat (ground beef shish kabob on one occasion). We carry an inhaler & an EPI pen with us wherever we go.

    Since he was born with these allergies, and he is only nine, it certainly is not a lifestyle choice for him.
    Neither I nor my wife have any problems with food allergies.

    It is nice to think we have control over everything in our lives. That however, is an unfortunate fallacy. There are so many variables. Where to start?